Photo’s by the babe’in Hannah Gale

As you’re reading this post, I will be heading off on a press trip to Marbella for 3 days of sun [insert all of the non existent fingers crossed emojis – why the f**k is there no fingers crossed emoji fyi – the world has ever seen], fun – I’m going with Hannah so obvs gonna laugh so much to the point of peeing myself a little – and relaxation (spa treatments and beach/pool leisure time are scheduled into our itinerary, winning in life) and I am so frickin excited.

But the whole journey – lol at me making this sound like an X-Factor contestant’s life – wasn’t so fun and without fear.

You see, I had this trip booked in for May 21st. Great, I thought. Time to eat healthy and get to the gym (I haven’t been to a gym in 7 years, who the f**k was I kidding?) I thought. And then I found out that my trip was actually April 21st, and I had a week and a half to prep rather than the 6 weeks to prep.

And let me just tell you that I panicked like I have never panicked before (slight exaggeration, but you know, I panicked a bit).

Now, for a lot of you you might be thinking “Erm, does it take a week to pack, what else do you have to prepare?” and no, it doesn’t at all. And apart from rescheduling a few meetings and events for 2 days, and a frantic search for bikini’s that don’t make me feel like a whale, there wasn’t a lot to practically prepare, but it does take a while for my head to prepare for changes.

Let me give you some background info. I am the girl that prepares everything to within an inch of it’s life. Got a day full of back to back meetings? You better believe that I will literally schedule my day. My content schedule is prepped well in advance (although this is the only thing that I do become spontaneous with) and I wake up at 6am every day just so that I can “fit everything in”. So to find out that my trip was so close (and I was also going to have to do all of the extra hours to make sure that sponsored content/general content/video’s was completed and ready before I left) completely shook me.

If I’m honest with you, I have absolutely no idea what this post is even about or where it’s going. But I guess the general gist of what I’m trying to say is that even if you feel that fear – regardless of whether it’s slightly (read; ridiculously) irrational – do it anyway!

I actually have family coming over from Canada whilst I’m away so it would have been a pretty good excuse to back out at the last minute – I am the kind of girl that gets nervous over trips and events even when I know they’re going to be so much fun – but then I realised that of course there was absolutely no way I was backing out, I was going to have the best bloody time and those nerves can just fuck right off do one. I have seen so many people turn down amazing opportunities through being scared and anxious, and I totally, totally get it. But what even is life if you’re not pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and doing things that scare you. How are you meant to develop, to grow, to be a better person?

I would also like to point out that I know my irrational worries make me sound like a pampered princess who’s never had a “real” day’s worry in her life and please believe me that that couldn’t be any further from the case. But I guess it’s proof that in spite of a pretty instagram feed – which mine certainly isn’t fyi – and a picture perfect life on the surface, you never know what’s actually going on behind the scenes. And the girl that goes out there and does everything and meets new people and must be oh my god so confident actually might just be the least confident of the lot, she just says yes and doesn’t let life get in the way.

This whole post is probably the most trivial and pointless that I’ve ever written, but I guess it’s just my way of saying – with about 50 billion extra unnecessary words – that being scared is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of, feeling the fear is absolutely fine, but push yourself to do whatever it is that scares you anyway. Because that feeling of fulfilment after, that is what it’s all about.

I’d really know love to know if you’ve ever experienced fear that’s stopped you from doing things? How do you deal with last minute changes? Please do let me know, I always love hearing from you 🙂

Also, don’t forget to keep up with my trip on Instagram and Snapchat (theellenextdoor), I promise you won’t want to miss it. I am so beyond grateful to have these opportunities come my way and it makes it even more special that I can take you babes along with me too!

As always, thanks so much for reading (and putting up with my pointless rambles!) 


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