I feel like the vast majority will probably read that title and be like “U k hun, do you need your head checking because I think you just said you’re not that excited about christmas?” but I also feel like there are a lot of people that can totally relate to this but are probably quietly shying away from social media in the hopes that all of the OH MY GOD I’M WATCHING ELF messages will be missed.
Because here’s the thing… whilst usually, I love christmas, so much, this year and in particular this month has been absolutely horrendous in every single way. I’ve never really mentioned it on here before, just alluded to it maybe, but I went through a horrendous break up and so, actually, I give zero fucks about Christmas. Have I been through the worst and am slowly, slowly on the up? Yes, absolutely, but it’s still the saddest, loneliest, scariest time and so prancing around like Buddy the Elf is not at the top of my list.
On the other hand, we also lost my Grandad this year, so Christmas will be the first one that my Nan – who now lives with us – and the the rest of us will have to go through without him and honestly, just the very thought makes me want to explode in an overwhelming bubble of grief. But these are just two examples and just for myself… all over the world, there are people out there going through the worst kinds of pain and missing the most special people to them. There are soldiers fighting for our country, there are their families that won’t get to see their soldiers fighting for our country… basically, life isn’t fandabbydozy for everyone right now so Christmas isn’t looked at as “the most wonderful time of the year”, it’s actually the most horrendous because there is this insane pressure to be so goddamn happy, and you’re surrounded by people that are so contagiously happy (which I love FYI and do not begrudge in any way), and, well, you just feel like you need to put on a big fat smile and say “yay, 10 more sleeps and counting” even if it’s the opposite.
Now, I am aware that this sounds morbid AF and please don’t think that I am in any way frustrated or annoyed at anyone excited for the festive season, this absolutely, 100% could not be further from the case, I just think that it’s important to remember those less fortunate in these kinds of times.
So that brings me to the end of one of the most sporadic and random posts I’ve ever posted. I know the vast majority of you are
buzzing your tits off insanely excited for Christmas and I love seeing that so, so much, I just think it’s important to remember that life isn’t a bunch of roses for everyone right now and Christmas may actually be the worst, loneliest time imaginable. And if you are feeling like that, I hope this post made you realise that you’re not alone. You never are!
Regardless, I do hope everyone has the most incredible Christmas – or as good as it can be if you’re in a sad place right now – eating all of the pigs in blankets, drinking all of the wine and completely slobbing out for a whole day straight.
For me personally, I’m mainly looking forward to 2016 just being over. My friend recently told me that “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings” and I am whole heartedly going to believe that. Come on 2017, let’s make it a goodun!