I’M BACK!

Apologies for the semi dramatic title that alludes to the fact that there are people out there that give even a mild little shit whether I’m back or not… I’ve been watching a lot of Gilmore Girls and Grey’s and I feel like I’ve developed a bit of the Lorelai/Meredith sass, which has resulted in the I’M BACK!

Anyway, the truth is, I wrote a post at the beginning of 2020 being all like “hello lads I’m back, this is the year I blog 24/7″ and then, shock f**king horror, it didn’t get posted, and I haven’t posted since. There’s no real excuse – but I’m absolutely gonna give you one, anyway – apart from the fact that I was just really busy, and other platforms took over. That’s pretty much it.

However, now that we’re in the middle of an apocalypse (Coronavirus, for anyone that’s spent so long slothing that their brains have slowly turned to mush and are currently googling “apocalypse 2020”), and I literally couldn’t be less busy – unless being a full time brownie baking, keyboard playing* slob counts as being busy these days – I thought it was about time I get my arse (which sadly is not any bigger or rounder despite doing 5 squats last night) in gear and actually get posting again.

*when I say keyboard playing, what I mean is, bashing a key and hoping at some point to hit something mildly resembling a tune or melody. Will be chuffed with either, tbh.

Btw, I’ve made blogging sound like a chore, and it really, really isn’t. In reality, blogging has, and will always be my favourite platform. Writing has always been my biggest passion and sitting down with a cuppa to type a load of random thoughts has always given me the most joy. So here’s to a) the return of blogging* and b) getting through this pandemic safe, well and maybe even 1% sane.

*do feel free to turn up at my door post quarantine to punch me in the face if I accidentally fall off of the face of the earth again for 7 months.

OK, so, rather than just be like, lol soz I’ve been shit but I’m back now, and leave you with that super riveting info, I thought I’d give you a little lowdown on some of the things I’ve been up to over the last year or so. Don’t worry, I’ll stick to bullet points (I lied, ended up taking the bullet points out so I could chat more LOL) so you can all get back to Netflix and chilling. I mean, not actual “netflix and chill”, well I mean… if that’s your plans then you do you boo, go get it… OK I’ll stop talking now.

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I created my own line of slogan T-Shirts. I cannot even explain the blood, sweat, tears and “that font is absolutely minging, no” ‘s that went into them. I know what you’re thinking, how difficult is it to pick a font and a colour… but when you’re working with creatives that have their own ideas in mind, and you’re also stubborn af, getting your vision absolutely bang on is…testing. Anyway, they went live, I got a mind-blowing response and the most amount of love (thank you!). They’re no longer available as I was planning another set for later on in the year, but now that Corona has hit… who knows what’ll happen. But I loved them and I’m so grateful I was able to do it.

I went on so, so, so many incredible trips including a solo week in NYC. It was quite possibly my favourite New york trip ever and I wholeheartedly recommend solo travel to anyone. I know it can be a nerve-wracking thought but it, without getting all Ghandi on your arses, really made me grow as a person and I personally can’t wait to go everywhere once this is all over. I also went to San Fran with one of my oldest school friends and it was just absolutely everything I wanted it to be and more. I even got proposed to – by way of a chocolate brownie – by a waiter who I met 30 mins previously. Declined the proposal but accepted the brownie, just in case anyone was wondering.

Went through a horrendous breakup to someone who was mostly an absolute gem. One thing I’ve learnt in the past year is that a relatively nice, amicable breakup is a million times harder than one where you secretly want to run them over or burn their tatty jumper that they left at yours. It wasn’t perfect – there’s no such thing and if there is, I’m marrying him instantly – and it absolutely crushed every bit of confidence I had… but I genuinely feel like a funnier, happier, livelier, crazier, more mental, less shit giving version of myself since going through it. Someone said to me (pre-quarantine) that I just glowed differently these days, and I think I agree with that too. Or maybe it was just sweat, hard to tell and I’m gonna run with glow anyway…

I kind of re-evaluated my career a little bit. I have totally different goals to what I did a year or so ago and I cannot wait to get started on them. I don’t know whether that’s partly to do with having more confidence and believing in myself now, that my new goals include things that I would’ve never had the balls to do. But yeah… I started writing a book (it’s taking a million years but it’s my one true love and I refuse to rush it, sorry Margravine. lol) I’m gonna start a podcast… sometimes I forget I have a voice and I don’t use it enough. I mean, most of what I say is utter drivel but sometimes, just sometimes, I’m gold 😂 I’m also going to do some presenting (YEP, terrifies me too!), I have a series coming to YouTube once… well, I’m allowed to be out actually interviewing people, and I’m so so excited about it.

Bought a keyboard. Fell in love with a keyboard. Deleted Raya and Hinge as I’m officially off the market.

Made some new friends that have become some of my best friends. The main one being my little Mark Ferris. An absolute ray of sunshine that has made me cry with laughter more times than I can remember in such a short space of time. He’s an angel in this sometimes scary and backstabbing industry and I feel v v grateful to have met him, instantly clicked and claimed him as my Soho night out dance partner for the rest of time.

Dated a lot (sorry Mum and Dad). Have some of the best dating stories of all time. Also mostly hate men.

Plotted and planned future stuff and I think this year/2021 is the year my dreams of being properly involved with some charities close to my heart/that maybe don’t even exist yet, will come to fruition. There’s something about having the rug pulled from under you that makes you reassess everything you’re doing, and this year really, really changed my priorities and perspective. It’s why, in all honesty, I’m a lot quieter on Instagram and YouTube. I’d just prefer to be working on stuff that feels a bit more… meaningful, I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I will always love engaging with everyone on Insta, but I’m hoping to use it more as a place to spread positivity and awareness for the things that matter to me. But still with the same sort of pictures/feed which looks like a rainbow has thrown up all over it.

Joined TikTok and found a platform that fully lets me indulge my self confessed incredible sense of humour. LOL.

Oh, and most importantly – before you all come for me, this is the least important, promise – I discovered a few things that made me feel physically a lot better about myself. If this is vain, sue me! Filter by Molly Mae, without doubt the best fake tan I’ve ever tried. My BeautyWorks extensions. Urban Decay lip liner in Ex-Girlfriend. Charlotte Tilbury Beauty light wand. In fact, I might just do a little everyday makeup post for you… so, expect to see that in (realistically) 2023.

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Gonna wrap this up here because realistically this was meant to be a quickie – mind out the gutter, you – post to say I’m back but I’ve actually rambled for what feels like hours. So, yeah… if any of you are still around, HI I MISSED YOU. And if you’re new, I really hope you enjoy being a part of this little community.

Fucking hell, I missed ya blogging! xx